The Late-Blooming Sage

Though genius is often equated with precocity, a quick search of "famous late bloomers" turns up David Sedaris, Julia Child, Alfred Hitchcock, and Laura Ingalls Wilder, to name a very few.

Though he didn’t make the Google cut, Rabbi Akiva was a late-bloomer par excellence. A Talmudic scholar in the late-first/early-second century, Rabbi Akiva is said to have started his formal education at age 40. Story has it that he was a poor shepherd working for the wealthiest man in Jerusalem whose daughter, Rachel, took a liking to him. Rachel saw something more in him though, and encouraged him to pursue formal Jewish study – which he did, though it kept them apart for 24 years.

Yeshiva children everywhere learn the story of Rabbi Akiva coming across a stone that had been hollowed out over time by drops of water and being heartened by the prospect of his own mind’s ability to adapt new knowledge, even though he knew it would take some time and hard work. As Malcom Gladwell wrote in The New Yorker: "Sometimes genius is anything but rarefied; sometimes it’s just the thing that emerges after twenty years of working at your kitchen table."

A Visit To North Carolina's ‘Jewish Exeter’

The American Hebrew Academy is impressive, yet has trouble attracting students.

The boldest experiment in American Jewish high school education and leadership, unknown to most of us, is taking place on a beautiful 100-acre campus in Greensboro, N.C., that has to be seen to be believed.

Since its founding 11 years ago, I’d read and heard about the American Hebrew Academy, the country’s only co-ed and pluralistic college-prep boarding school, dubbed by some “the Jewish Exeter.” (The Jewish Week’s education writer Carolyn Slutsky visited the school for a feature we published in 2008.) But only after visiting recently and speaking to, and with, its students, faculty and administration, have I come to appreciate just how impressive it is physically, educationally and conceptually.

“We’re an elite high school that doesn’t want to be elitist,” explained executive director Glenn Drew, who described the academy as “a new paradigm in Jewish education.”

But one with serious challenges in terms of attracting students.

Founded by Drew’s uncle, Maurice “Chico” Sabbah, a wealthy, self-made American businessman who made aliyah as a young man, returned to the U.S. to fight in the Korean War and later settled in Greensboro, the school is an attempt to blend the warmth and cultural depth of Jewish life best represented by summer camps, with the academic excellence of the finest New England college-prep boarding schools.

In addition to faculty in both secular and Judaic subjects, the academy offers a full-time Jewish life staff — the four rabbis represent Modern Orthodox, Chabad, Conservative and Reform streams — to provide experiences for all of the non-class time throughout the week, and Shabbat and holidays during the course of the 10-month academic year.

Drew noted that Sabbah, who died in 2006, was concerned about Jewish continuity and wanted the school to instill leadership skills in its students. Based on the model of several top secular prep boarding schools, the academy seeks to create an environment that encourages students to take an active role in their own education.

Classes are limited to 12 students; they sit around a large, wooden oval “learning table” with their teacher so that they face each other.

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THE EIGHT DAYS OF HANUKKAH

A new song for the holiday:

(Note: The words "my true love" can be replaced with the Yiddish "mein Liebhen.")

On the first night of Hanukkah my true love gave to me
      Lox, bagels and some cream cheese

On the second night of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me
      2 Kosher pickles and
      Lox, bagels and some cream cheese

On the third night of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me
      3 pounds of corned beef
      2 Kosher pickles and
      Lox, bagels and some cream cheese

On the fourth night of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me
      4 potato latkes
      3 pounds of corned beef
      2 Kosher pickles and
      Lox, bagels and some cream cheese

On the fifth night of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me
      5 bowls of chicken soup
      4 potato latkes
      3 pounds of corned beef
      2 Kosher pickles and
      Lox, bagels and some cream cheese

On the sixth night of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me
      6 pickled herrings
      5 bowls of chicken soup
      4 potato latkes
      3 pounds of corned beef
      2 Kosher pickles and
      Lox, bagels and some cream cheese

Continue here for the rest of the song and more humor such as the High Tech Dreidel Operator's Manual and Xmas vs. Chanukah.

Weight Obsession

My family’s obsession with my weight is ruining my life. But why do I let their words get to me?
Dear Lauren,

I'm almost 17. When I was 12, I gained a little weight – nothing much, but to my overweight mother, older sister, and aunt, it was an immediate and serious problem. They mentioned it to me every single day and they talked about it to me and to my other extended family members, who then kept mentioning my weight to me and telling me I had to lose weight. Food was locked in the freezer, no one helped me with breakfast or lunch any more, and I was essentially told to stop eating anything other than rice cakes, vegetables, and plain tuna or turkey.

I was hungry, of course, and I bought chocolate bars and potato chips in school, snuck junk food at home, felt physically lousy, and of course gained more weight. No one seemed to care if I were happy, if I were kind, if I were good. They only seemed to care about and talk about my weight.

After three years, my weight went back to normal on its own, mostly because I realized that no food is off limits and I should eat at least three meals a day and include healthy options and chill out and ignore every single voice other than my own. Like a baby who knows when she is hungry, I learned -- again -- when to eat. But the comments about my appearance have only gotten worse. In the last year and a half, every single visit by grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins has brought comments about "how much weight" I lost, how I must be very disciplined, how I must be on some diet, and that it's so wonderful (and now I can be a success, get into a better college, have pretty babies some day, have a perfect, stress-free life...).

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Use food to keep teens involved in Hanukkah

These days, it takes a lot more than a rousing game of spinning the dreidel or some gold foil covered chocolate coins to keep kids interested in Hanukkah. Even more to get the attention of seemingly eternally bored teenagers.

After all, an eons old story of a day’s worth of lamp oil lasting for over a week is no match for iPhones and Xboxes.

But cookbook author and mother of four (including two teenagers) Susie Fishbein has a secret weapon — food.

Kids love to eat as much as they love to “schmooze” and socialize, says Fishbein, and Hanukkah is very much about its symbolic foods and traditions of hospitality.

She suggests getting your teenagers involved in choosing and preparing traditional foods. This might not only get them excited about the holiday, but also will create an opportunity to talk.

And she speaks from experience. While developing recipes for her new cookbook, “Kosher by Design: Teens and 20-somethings” (Artscroll/Shaar Press, 2010), Fishbein relied on her own teens and their friends to help test the recipes she was creating.

The teenagers, she points out, were at ease during these gatherings because they weren’t being asked to reveal anything personal, but instead just to talk about the food, which in turn allowed them to relax and be themselves. And when kids are being themselves, they tend to open up more.

In fact, Fishbein points to food and cooking as a conduit for keeping communication lines open between adults and teens all year.

In her new book, which is part of a kosher cooking series, Fishbein offers fun, accessible recipes that serve up new choices for teens who favor fast food, as well as fresh and healthful cooking projects for the teen or college student.

Read on for easy-to-make Veggie Corn Fritters. 

I Want To Be Me

Dear Lauren,

Is there a way to always be true to who I am no matter who is around me and no matter what the circumstances? Since I was really young I seem to morph into whatever anyone around me expects me to be. It's getting tiring, especially since people think I'm always fun, that I don't take anything seriously, that I hate religion, that I don't think about God, and that I'm a spoiled brat.
I don't have real friends, only classmates I hang out with, because I never feel safe to really be myself or to show who I really am. I want so much to be myself, but I'm afraid to be, and I shift into whatever it is the person near me thinks I am, without even making a conscious decision to do this. I think this behavior comes from being a shy child and being told just who I was and what I was thinking by my older family members and teachers and then my classmates, and I was too timid to explain myself or answer back, and instead I've been accidentally performing for years. I need a break from this. I prefer to be myself. Thank you.

Lauren Roth's Answer

There was a beautiful tree in Princeton. Every fall, all the leaves on the tree turned a brilliant yellow, such that its long, gnarled, multitudinous branches created a gargantuan canopy of sunlight-yellow, roofing the walkways around it in every direction. I loved that tree and absolutely delighted in its shining brightness every year.

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Humor Break from Jewishmag.com*

A little humor (very little!) break from the folks at Jewishmag.com

Blond MEN Jokes
NOTE: To give equal time to Blond women, we are publishing here Blond MEN Jokes:

A blond man spies a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ". He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up without bending.

10 Things I know about you...
1) YOU are reading this

2) YOU are human.

3) YOU can't say the letter ''P'' without separating your lips

4) YOU just attempted to do it

6) YOU are laughing inwardly at yourself

7) YOU have a smile on your face and you skipped No.5

8) YOU just checked to see if there is a No.5

9) YOU laugh at this because you are an idiot & everyone does it too.

10) YOU probably did not realize that there are not ten items here.


Another Blond Male Joke:
A blond man is in jail. Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet. "Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.

"Hanging myself," the blond replies.

"The rope should be around your neck" says the guard.

"I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe."

*Jvillage disavows any knowledge of your actions.  Should you have any taynes, don't send them to us, we have enough tsuris!

How Can This Jewish Teen Connect to her Judaism

I don’t feel a spiritual connection with God or the Jewish community. How do I start feeling that I belong?

Dear Lauren,

I am Jewish by birth, but growing up I wasn't raised with a great emphasis on my Jewishness. I knew it was there, and occasionally we celebrated holidays (Chanukah and Passover, mostly), and I know many of the stories and parables of our ancestors. I love my Jewishness. But I don't feel a spiritual connection with God or with the Jewish community. I didn't go to Hebrew school growing up, I don't have many Jewish friends, and despite my mother being Israeli and most of my family living there, I don't know any Hebrew.

I'm starting college in a few months and I know I'll have opportunities to make connections there. But I always feel like I don't belong with the other Jewish kids due to my lack of knowledge, a Hebrew/Jewish sounding name, and the fact that I'm multi-racial. I don't know where to start to get a better grasp on the more religious part of Judaism, and where to insert myself in the community. What should I do?

Let me start with the last part of your question, in which, basically, you say, “I don’t feel I belong with other Jewish kids because I’m not perfectly like them.” Do you know how many experiences and relationships we humans miss out on because we’re nervous: “I won’t be able to do it perfectly, so I’d rather not try”?
I read an interview with Karl Lagerfeld (of Chanel and Fendi). He said the most extraordinary statement:

“I like antique lace, antique sheets, beautiful quilted covers, but everything is white. In white you can hide nothing. I have everything – sheets and nightshirt and robes – changed every day. It’s such a pleasure to go to bed in the evening in a beautiful bed with beautiful sheets and beautiful pillows, everything flawless, in a freshly pressed, long white smock. It’s perfect.”

Everything white? Everything “flawless?” A freshly-pressed nightshirt? “Perfect?” Those words doesn’t describe Real Life. You can’t live an authentic life in a white house with white sheets and white clothes and white furniture. Real Life is never perfect or flawless or clean or white. It’s messy and dirty and complicated and full of imperfect fits and stubborn stains that won’t come out – and even more stains yet to come.

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H.G. Wells vs. the Jews

Today,  H.G. Wells (1866-1946) is primarily known for his science fiction novels Invisible Man and War of the Worlds. For the majority of his career, however, Wells regarded himself as a political and social theorist, writing books like A Modern Utopia and a pre-WWII philosophical treatise, The Shape of Things to Come, which predicted a major conflict in Europe.

In the years before World War I, Wells, who was not Jewish, became interested in Territorialism. This was a proto-Zionist school of thought that called for a Jewish homeland--though not necessarily one in the historical Land of Israel. Wells was initially interested in the possibility of a Jewish state that was presented to him by a fellow writer, Israel Zangwill, and saw it as a version of his own utopian philosophy. However, Wells soon turned hostile toward Zionism, perceiving in it an implied ethnic superiority. "I can offer you neither help nor advice," he wrote to Zangwill, on the topic of a Jewish state. "Your people are rich enough, able enough, and potent enough to save themselves."

After World War II, when the truth about the Holocaust became known, Wells again changed his mind, rescinded his earlier statements, and became a vocal supporter of the State of Israel. In fact, he initiated a correspondence with Chaim Weizmann, who would become the first president of Israel, and gave him pointers about starting a new country--not that Wells had ever done it firsthand, but he'd certainly written a lot about it.

Malala Vs. The Taliban

 A 14 year old school girl threatens the Taliban. Lessons from Malala Yousafzai’s incredible courage.

Click here to watch video.

The Unexpected Gift

I was a royal pain to most teachers. But one rabbi actually cared about what I thought.

High school is like war; it can haunt you for years after you’ve moved on – even if you’re one of the lucky ones who got out in one piece. This was especially true for my Jewish high school, where academic and material competition left everyone in perpetual mayday.

My survival tactic was simple – I spent as little time in class as I could, wandering the halls or reading in the library. When I did happen to show up, I interrupted the class with wisecracks. Few teachers cared enough to reach out to me; most of them threw me out with a detention slip.

This was especially true when it came to my Judaic subjects, the classes I hated most. What was the point of busting my head on a dusty, archaic language, learning about people who were long dead or deciphering the geography of places that now only existed in chards underground? No one ever discussed why we were learning these things – certainly there was no mention of the word “God” – the whole exercise seemed like a punishment my parents had inflicted on me to ensure that I would one day marry a nice, Jewish doctor (though why that was so important, I wasn't sure). I often held the tall, yellowing volumes of the Talmud vertical on my desk so I could sleep undisturbed behind them.

There was only one class I went to regularly: Navi, where we studied the kings and prophets of Israel. It wasn't the subject that kept me in my seat each day, but our teacher, Rabbi Kavon. He was one of those teachers you knew meant business; he didn't believe in second chances (or third, or fourth…). Although in his forties, he had the look of an older man, with stooped shoulders and pants pulled up to his chest in various shades of beige. His gray curls sprung out in a tight, unmoving sponge. He had a long beak nose and eyes that bore right into me, sharp and steady, making me feel like he could hear my thoughts.

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New School Nerves

Q.  I'm starting a new school this year and I am incredibly nervous. Everyone tells me: "Just be yourself," but I'm not sure what that means! Who is “myself,” anyway?!

A.  Every single year, almost every single one of my children tells me that they’re nervous about school starting. And every single year, I say, “Of course you are!” And I say the same to you: Of course you’re nervous about starting a new school! Even if you were attending the same school as last year, I would expect you to be nervous before starting a new epoch in your life.

Lord knows (I’m serious—God knows—I spoke to Him about this at great length before each and every transition of mine!) I was always nervous before any new undertaking: before a new school year, before a move to a different city, before a new child was born, before I started a new job, even before a new speaking engagement. It’s natural. King Solomon, the wisest of all men, said it perfectly: “All beginnings are difficult.”

You might end up loving your new school. Whether you love it or not is beside the point, though. Even if you end up absolutely adoring your new school, you are going to be nervous before you start. It’s a given, it’s natural, it’s to be expected. So stop freaking out about freaking out and give yourself a break!

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