My Non-Jewish Boyfriend

If I was never going to intermarry, why was I seriously dating a non-Jewish, bona fide heartthrob?

by Jennifer Cooper for aish.com

I was the one who adamantly declared that I would never marry out. Not because my parents were against it; they didn’t need to tell me because my traditional Jewish upbringing and day-school education were my safeguards. I was so connected to my Jewish identity that my betrayal of it was not even statistically probable.

Some of my friends began dating non-Jews. I stopped socializing with them in silent protest, after a more outspoken effort had failed. I self-righteously concluded that we had nothing in common, since they were prepared to give their Jewish identity the backseat. I was sitting firmly in the driver’s seat with mine, so much so that I became the leader of a Zionist youth movement, and started to mix with an idealistic new crowd.

In the Talmud, Rabbi Hillel warns us that we should be careful not to judge another person until we have stood in their place. And I was going places.

The Heartthrob

One night I went to a party for friends who had just returned from a year in Israel. It was an inspiring night full of memories and promise for the future. As we gathered round looking at photos, I pretended not to notice the attractive guy sitting next to me.

I don’t remember making conversation, but apparently I must have mumbled something, since the next morning the host of the party told me that Mr. Attractive had inquired after me. As I was catching my breath, she casually mentioned, “Oh, I told him you don’t date non-Jews, and he’s fine with that. He just wants to meet you. He really liked you.”

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You’re Not Leaving the House Wearing That!

Does accepting our kids choices imply approval?

by Rabbi Moshe Don Kestenbaum for aish.com

There it was, a plastic sparkly blue hat, and my two year old son found his treasure. He just loves hats.

My wife was away and I am getting my children ready to go to the pizza shop for supper and my son insists on wearing his new blue hat. His two older brothers would have nothing to do with it. We are not going if he wears that hat. I, on the other hand, was completely at peace with it. There was no reason to be embarrassed for no one could suspect me of choosing his getup.

When your child is two it’s relatively easy not to be embarrassed by their choice of attire, but what about when he or she is 12 or older? Then it’s not as simple.

Clothing is a common source of tension in many homes. Parents and their teens often bicker over acceptable mode of dress. We really have to take a moment and ask ourselves: Is it worth the fight?

The first thing I suggest we do is introspect into the true motivation behind our battle. Are we fighting because we feel it is unhealthy for the child to dress this way or is it because we are embarrassed about what our neighbors and friend will say? This takes a great deal of self honesty but if we do come to the recognition that it is really our pride that we are worried about, then we are probably better off forgoing our pride for the sake of our relationship with our child.

If we are not prepared to forgo our honor, then I suggest we at least be honest with our child and tell him that we feel uncomfortable when he or she dresses this way and not hide behind another agenda. When parents preach that which is not in line with their true motivation, their children can sense the falsehood and it hurts their ability to trust and listen to their parents down the road.

Now let say you allow your child to dress in a way that bothers you, (or he doesn’t give you much of a choice) how are we going to deal with this situation going forward?

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3 Things I Wish I Knew when I was Dating

I would have appreciated a heads-up on a few things. What wisdom do you have to share?

by Aleeza Ben Shalom for aish.com

I learned the ropes of dating on the fly, and somehow I made it to the chuppah. I sure would have appreciated a heads-up on a few things. To make your dating process a little sweeter, here are three concepts that I wish I’d known when I was dating.

1. Like attracts like

My husband was given really great advice when he was dating: “Men and women are already different enough. Find someone you have something in common with.” After 11 years of marriage, I concur – men and women are different. And the more you have in common, the easier it will be to adapt to married life.

Yes opposites can attract, but they sometimes have a challenging time staying together. Don’t misunderstand me: there will be differences between you and your spouse. No matter how alike you are there will definitely be enough ways in which you are different. But different is not the same as opposite. Over time you will hopefully come to appreciate and value those differences. But don’t go looking for someone so different from yourself.

If you really want a super spouse, make sure you’re super too (inside and out). Like attracts like. Take a minute to look in the mirror. What positive traits and qualities do you see? In what ways are you great? Notice your greatness. Notice it not because you are egocentric, but rather because you are trying to identify your other half. By identifying the first half of the soul mate – yourself – you’ll be better equipped to search the world for your super spouse.

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German Anne Frank Miniseries To Air Next Year

One of several projects commemorating the 70th anniversary of Frank’s death

By Stephanie Butnick for Tablet Magazine

Next year is the 70th anniversary of Anne Frank’s death at 16 in the Bergen Belsen concentration camp, and there will likely be a number of major events and projects to commemorate the life of Frank, whose diary, written while her family was in hiding in Amsterdam, has come to symbolize young people’s literary introduction to the Holocaust.

One of the projects is a two-part miniseries from the German production company Constantin Film and public broadcaster ZDF, according to the Hollywood Reporter.

The series will trace the lives of Frank, her family and friends starting three years before they were forced into hiding by the Nazis. The focus in part will be the transformation of the young Frank from an extroverted young girl before her time in hiding to the increasingly introverted and reflective teenager seen in her diaries.

Another film project in the works is from Waltz With Bashir director Ari Folman, who is creating an animated feature for younger audiences based on Frank’s life.