Monday, September 9, 2013

Israeli mom’s search for a meaningful bat mitzvah leads back to Schenectady

The Lifecyclist; By Debra Rubin for JTA
(JTA) — In Zoe Coleman-Becker’s Tel Aviv circle of friends, bat mitzvah typically means a surfing party, an overnight in the desert or a Japanese tea party. But Zoe’s mom, Pamela Becker, wanted her daughter to have much more than that. She wanted a celebration that also was a meaningful Jewish experience.

“It’s relatively status quo to make a bar mitzvah in Israel,” said Becker, who will be making a bar mitzvah for her four sons.

Bat MitzvahA bat mitzvah, on the other hand, is “hugely difficult — you have to think totally out of the box” to have the type of service she remembered having back in the United States.

She decided the best way to accomplish that was to plan a bat mitzvah celebration for Zoe in her childhood synagogue, Agudat Achim in Schenectady, N.Y. — even though Becker’s parents, who live in nearby Loudonville, no longer belong to the Conservative shul.

Still, Becker and her parents felt an emotional connection to Agudat. In Tel Aviv, she says, “we don’t have any place that would be egalitarian and beautiful and have a sense of history.”

The plans began last fall with a big question: Would the synagogue agree that even though the family does not belong, Zoe could become a bat mitzvah there? No problem. The rabbi gave his blessing, with the board following suit.

“I knew this was a very special request and I was very touched that the family had a very strong connection to Agudat Achim,” said Mery Gross, synagogue president at the time. “The request was made during Agudat’s 120th year celebration and it really speaks to the impact that the congregation has had on its congregants.”

Once everyone was on board for the July 20 service, Zoe began studying her Torah portion and working on a d’var Torah. The family arrived in the United States on July 4; four days later, Zoe learned that b’nai mitzvah students also do a haftarah reading, along with the accompanying blessings. She was undeterred, wanting to do the same.

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