The Lifecyclist; By Debra Rubin for JTA
(JTA) — In Zoe
Coleman-Becker’s Tel Aviv circle of friends, bat mitzvah typically means
a surfing party, an overnight in the desert or a Japanese tea party.
But Zoe’s mom, Pamela Becker, wanted her daughter to have much more than
that. She wanted a celebration that also was a meaningful Jewish
experience.
“It’s relatively status quo to make a bar mitzvah in Israel,” said Becker, who will be making a bar mitzvah for her four sons.

A
bat mitzvah, on the other hand, is “hugely difficult — you have to
think totally out of the box” to have the type of service she remembered
having back in the United States.
She decided the best way to
accomplish that was to plan a bat mitzvah celebration for Zoe in her
childhood synagogue, Agudat Achim in Schenectady, N.Y. — even though
Becker’s parents, who live in nearby Loudonville, no longer belong to
the Conservative shul.
Still, Becker and her parents felt an
emotional connection to Agudat. In Tel Aviv, she says, “we don’t have
any place that would be egalitarian and beautiful and have a sense of
history.”
The plans began last fall with a big question: Would
the synagogue agree that even though the family does not belong, Zoe
could become a bat mitzvah there? No problem. The rabbi gave his
blessing, with the board following suit.
“I knew this was a very
special request and I was very touched that the family had a very strong
connection to Agudat Achim,” said Mery Gross, synagogue president at
the time. “The request was made during Agudat’s 120th year celebration
and it really speaks to the impact that the congregation has had on its
congregants.”
Once everyone was on board for the July 20 service,
Zoe began studying her Torah portion and working on a d’var Torah. The
family arrived in the United States on July 4; four days later, Zoe
learned that b’nai mitzvah students also do a haftarah reading, along
with the accompanying blessings. She was undeterred, wanting to do the
same.
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