Weight Obsession

My family’s obsession with my weight is ruining my life. But why do I let their words get to me?
Dear Lauren,

I'm almost 17. When I was 12, I gained a little weight – nothing much, but to my overweight mother, older sister, and aunt, it was an immediate and serious problem. They mentioned it to me every single day and they talked about it to me and to my other extended family members, who then kept mentioning my weight to me and telling me I had to lose weight. Food was locked in the freezer, no one helped me with breakfast or lunch any more, and I was essentially told to stop eating anything other than rice cakes, vegetables, and plain tuna or turkey.

I was hungry, of course, and I bought chocolate bars and potato chips in school, snuck junk food at home, felt physically lousy, and of course gained more weight. No one seemed to care if I were happy, if I were kind, if I were good. They only seemed to care about and talk about my weight.

After three years, my weight went back to normal on its own, mostly because I realized that no food is off limits and I should eat at least three meals a day and include healthy options and chill out and ignore every single voice other than my own. Like a baby who knows when she is hungry, I learned -- again -- when to eat. But the comments about my appearance have only gotten worse. In the last year and a half, every single visit by grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins has brought comments about "how much weight" I lost, how I must be very disciplined, how I must be on some diet, and that it's so wonderful (and now I can be a success, get into a better college, have pretty babies some day, have a perfect, stress-free life...).

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